Carrie Callahan

I've officially left blogger for a new place on my own website. If you want to keep up with me, my writing, and (of course) my blog posts you can find them at CarrieCallahan.com . See you there!

Finishing NaNoWriMo is always a great feeling! Each time I manage to cross that finish line, I feel like a "real writer"--whatever that means. This year, though, I may have finished the month, but I have yet to finish the novel. The manuscript I'm working on is called Blood Tramp Blues , and it follows a hitchhiker who is suddenly confronted with the cosmic indifference of the universe when she's saved from a lovecraftian monster by a woman with powers via blood sacrifice--the eponymous Blood Tramp. And it's 54,000 words in with four fat chapters to go (they might have to be split into more--we'll see). I'm trying to explore what we do when faced with cosmic indifference. Most people assume that facing your own insignificance leads inevitably to destructive nihilism, but I disagree. I ascribe more to the optimistic nihilist 's perspective: so what if there's no meaning? That gives me ultimate control over what I decide has meaning in my life....

It's that time of year again:  NaNoWriMo season! I have a novel draft I needed to get out, and just in time, too! For the uninitiated. NaNoWriMo stands for National Novel Writing Month, which is November of every year. People from all around the world set a goal to write a 50,000 word draft of a novel by the end of the month, which roughly translates to around 1,667 words a day. The idea is that finishing a first draft--finally getting that novel you've been dreaming of writing--out of your head and on paper is incredibly encouraging. It empowers writers to really believe they can do it--they can write a whole book! I totally get that NaNoWriMo isn't for everyone, but I've had repeated success getting out first drafts under the pressure of the daily writing goal. Some people work well with deadlines, and I happen to be one of them! I don't do NaNo every year, because I don't have an idea every year. Or an outline. Or a set amount of time I can ...

I've been struggling these last few weeks to reconcile the two goals I have for my social media accounts, so I'm splitting them. On one hand, I want to express myself specifically to my friends and family members. I want to write about silly adventures and my publishing successes. I want to post anecdotes and philosophies and other things I find interesting. On the other hand, I also want to write for writers. I want to be able to contribute to writing communities by reviewing resources, offering writing advice (whatever good my advice would do), and encouragement. Instead of doing either of those things, I've been trying to write to some middle ground on this blog. As I've kicked up my social media habits in the last few weeks, my Instagram account has come to look positively schizophrenic. I'm alternating selfies with writing prompts, pictures of my dog with blog posts about writer's block. Who even is that person? So, to maintain my sanity (as much ...

I've written on being blocked before , but coming fresh out of a bout of block makes me want to revisit the subject. Also, it's been a while. In the last four years, I've experienced a few bouts of writer's block and each time it's horrific. I've been depressed before, and for me writer's block doesn't feel far off. I can't focus on the story; everything I write seems bland, paltry, or cliche; and I'm obsessed with the likelihood of my own failure. I start to wonder what the point is on an existential scale. Like, why am I writing about space cowboys when it's unlikely I'll ever live to see Andromeda? The universe cares nothing for me, and less for the stories I haven't written. But, of course, eventually I work my way through it; usually, as I wrote way back in 2011, through conversation. Explaining the story to someone else gets me out of the trap of my own judgment. I no longer focus on what I hate about the story, but on...

Every now and then I need an ego check. Sometimes this comes from just a little bit of people watching. I recently attended Imaginarium , a local convention for all sorts of SF creators--writers, film makers, game designers, and cosplay enthusiasts. It was a lot of fun and I met a lot of really great authors there, but there was one fellow that sticks in my mind as a good example of how not to behave. Let's call him Fred. To be fair, I haven't been to a ton of conventions and I don't consider myself any kind of expert judge of social skills. That said, I do try and keep an eye out when I think I can learn, and just like with writing, being able to articulate what it is that affects me about someone else's behavior can help me calibrate my own. Fred was one such a calibration point. Fred became part of the conversation I was having with an author at their table, and soon came to be the center of said conversation. While we were talking, Fred asked the author if h...

Impostor syndrome has held me back so much more than I have admitted. For the last five years, I've had an idea percolating in my brain. It's had about six different false starts, followed by very real stalls and failures. That idea is About Write --a YouTube show teaching creative writing through a slightly academic lens. After graduating, I wanted to continue my education on my own, but all I could find were how-to books and expensive webinars. I didn't want to get further into debt to learn craft--I just wanted to keep practicing! So I thought that to spare others the price tag, maybe I could make my own free web series on the topic. I made a list of episodes, and wrote out scripts. I referenced some of the texts from my degree and even bought a DSLR camera! But what happened? A rotten question crept into my head: why would anyone listen to me? Sure, I had the education, but so what? I wasn't an "expert." I wasn't even published! I was an impost...

A non-writer friend of mine recently asked me, "Aren’t you afraid someone will steal your ideas?" She was helping me with my elevator pitch--something every writer should do, I believe--and I had to stop to think about my response. To my surprise, my knee-jerk reaction was, "No, of course not." I had to think about where my reaction came from, because it was definitely not always so sanguine. Worrying about how safe our ideas are is something I've seen a lot online. There is a constant deluge of posts on writing forums and subreddits asking about how to protect ideas, as if they are the sole kernel of importance in our work that, if cloned, somehow destroy the original. I think this idea comes from the way art is portrayed in movies: an artist has an "a-ha!" moment where their premise comes to them in a sudden flurry of inspiration. They knock out an entire painting or manuscript in a single sitting, or they sell the idea for millions of dollar...

It's so easy to lose sight of the goals we have--to feel like we won't fail up, but just keep failing. When I submitted the Clarion application that was ultimately (but kindly) rejected, I also submitted the attached story someplace else: the Writers of the Future contest. For the first time, I wasn't nervous about my submission. I had written what was literally the best story I could at that time, so if I failed it was just because I wasn't there yet and that's OK. Then June rolled around. I went through the WotF forums and found that a lot of people were receiving rejections, so I waited patiently for my email. Only I didn't get an e-mail--I got a phone call. The director of the contest, Joni Labaqui, called me to tell me that I was one of eight finalists for the quarter and that she'd let me know in a couple weeks if I was a winner. I thanked her, and smiled, and did a little dance. Settling in for the wait, I did my best to stay calm, but by wee...

Rejection sucks, but you know what sucks more? Letting yourself disappear. I heard back from Clarion West today. It's the second time I've applied to the workshop, and the second time I've been rejected. On the plus side, I got the "good" rejection you may have seen floating about, so that's something--and that something is everything. Not every publication is gonna like your stories, not every workshop will think you're the best fit for their class, and not every agent is for you. Still, rejection can feel like failure. But there is failing, and then there is failing up . Failing up means recognizing when a rejection doesn't mean "never," just "not right now." When that dreaded e-mail comes, sometimes it's not saying "you suck," but "you're getting better!" or "you're so close. " This is the carrot in the stick-preferring world of writing that can get you through to the next su...

The "Powered By Amazon" writing community, WriteOn announced today that it will be closing as of March 22nd--a little over two years after initially opening to writers. The platform opened on March 11, 2014 and was meant to be Amazon's answer to Wattpad. I think it's easy to get caught up in feeling that Amazon is unfair or cruel for taking away the community it had only started to build--and maybe it is, on some level. But I also think that those posting in the forums in anger about the news miss a vital fact about this and every other free online community: they don't owe you anything. This was a free experiment open to writers, and now that experiment is over. We may never get an explanation as to why it's ending so abruptly--but neither do we deserve one. Shops, cafes, and restaurants close all the time when the customer base cannot support their rent--and online spaces are no different. In the past, online communities have simply withered as the ne...

There is so much advice on the internet. There's advice on how to eat, how to sleep, what that slight pain in your side means, when to see a doctor, and how to negotiate your medical bills. There's also plenty of advice on writing. There are YouTube channels, podcasts, blogs, forums, and ebooks. There is so much content online trying to tell you how to do things that it can be difficult to know who to listen to. To help you sift through the mess, I've decided to offer four questions to ask yourself about any writing advice (that I ask myself): Does this advice in any way serve the person giving it? There are plenty of people out there ready to make a quick buck off of the dreams of writers, so beware any kind of advice that seems to profit the adviser. For example, is one bit of advice that you should take a writing workshop--when they happen to offer a 2 week online writing workshop? Do they encourage doing daily writing exercises, and then offer you a handy ebook ...

All semester I've enjoyed the stimulation of intense learning toward my Masters in English/Creative Writing. The department is extra SF friendly and the faculty is great. Still, I haven't been critiquing or writing as much as I need to. And now I'm full of story. Those who have to write will likely know what I mean, but I'll try and articulate it anyhow. It's like there's a great, big, rough wooden door in my head between my unconscious/subconscious/imagination/dream-self and my outward/conscious expression. And right now there's a massive first slamming itself against the door: Knock knock knock . My veins are pulsing, there's a sheen of sweat on my forehead; I have to open the door. When I do, I know what will happen. There will be a tempest and I'll have to catch it in something: a glass jar, a story, a teacup. At first it's gonna be a mess, like a flood of tiny glass beads that need to be sorted by color. By I...

Outside, it's made of common architecture. It looks like any other structure, though perhaps more like a library than a government building. The entrance is guarded by Self Doubt and Over Confidence , a bust on either side of the door flanked with columns. If you can get passed them, there is a whole world of iconography and imagination on the other side, treasures untold. Along the main chamber is the Pantheon of Writing Gods : Show Don't Tell is an ever-shifting animated statue displaying hints of subtext and the deft hand of it's sculptor. It has no plaque. Writer's Conference  is a labeled alcove with comfortable chairs, a bar, and a coffee stand. A pair of Writing priests sit on a never-ending panel. The Nine Genres ( Literary , Science Fiction , Fantasy , Children's , Romance , Mystery , Western , Horror , Thriller ) take an entire corner to themselves beyond an archway of their subgenre offspring ( Young Adult , Steampunk , Magical Realis...

Soon, my creative life is going to take a strange little detour - one I never expected. Starting in August, I will be attending school for my Masters degree in English. With a creative writing focus, naturally. I'm a little scared about what this means for my writing, which might seem ridiculous. Most people in writing go back to school because it's one of the few sanctuaries they can find for their writing. However, right now, I have as much time to work on my craft as I want. I can read, write, and critique to my heart's desire! So why would I go to school - with its language requirements and its essays? Won't that impede my writing? I'm not 100% sure. The last time I was in school for writing, I learned more than I ever thought I could. My understanding of fiction increased on an accelerated scale that, even venerating the University system as I did, I hadn't expected. I suppose I'm hoping for the same with my masters. I feel stuck, stylistically...

I'm hitting a wall with Weather Vane Island.  I'm on chapter 8 and, despite the grouping of many tiny adventures, a question still lingers: "When is the story going to begin?" Looking at the manuscript, I feel dejected. I can only shrug my shoulders and answer: "I don't know." This is familiar territory for me. I ran into it in the first draft of Weather Vane Island  and my answer was to just add whatever crazy thing came to mind, eventually kneading the dough of my story into something ineditable. I ran into the same wall in my first draft of Nothing Extraordinary (a work in progress) and my solution then was to charge forward, keeping faith in my outline until my writing became a bland, programmed march to the end. I've also run into the same wall with other stories that I put into drawers, unfinished, because I didn't have the wherewithall to push through. I've come to term this a "Mid-Book Crisis." For whatever reason, af...

I've recently been reading  Booklife by Jeff Vandermeer, and I must say it's a great read so far! It's all about balancing one's public (often digital) life with their more private, creative life. Though some of the technical bits are a little outdated, the advice is as good as ever. As I read through a section all about choosing one's level of involvement on the internet, I felt a familiar welling of panic. I have a confession: I've felt jealous and bemused by young people's ability to juggle endless social media accounts while still having the time to write a story a week, and go out and explore the world. I have trouble just balancing writing with cleaning and keeping the husbs fed. Then it hit me: most younger folks don't have to cook. They don't have to meal plan, grocery shop, or do the dishes after. For a lot of students, it's eat and run - toss the paper plates and get to class or where-have-you. So of course they have the time! ...

So, I've been posting on this blog for a while now - since some time in 2010. And somehow, in five years, I have yet to consistently post on a schedule. Why is that? Well, for one, my home life has yet to be consistent. In five years, I have lived in nine or ten different places (I lost count), over three states. I seem to live in a place just long enough to fall in love and get a little comfortable, then leave. I'm like a serial monogamist in that way. In the last five years, I've also been in quite a few different occupations: Waitress, Student, Resident Adviser, McDonald's Cashier, Dominoes CSR, and in August I'll be entering into the first year of my Master's as a Graduate Assistant. All very different, nothing for more than nine months. I'm also a military spouse, which goes a little way in excusing my lack of solid career or home town - though not all the way. Additionally, my writing goals and process have constantly evolved and changed over the la...

There are a lot of programs and people out there to tell people what to do in order to be successfully published or to self-publish, how to be a best-selling writer or a fantastic wordsmith. There are plenty of people out there who - for an hourly fee or during one pricey webinar - will tell you what to do to accomplish your dreams. I won't be one of them. A few months ago I did a little speech at my writer's group about Amazon and self-publishing. It wasn't anything fancy. I won't lie, most of my knowledge came from relentlessly combing the internet for publishing news as a form of procrastination. What can I say? The topic interests me. Anyway, that's not the point. The point is that after the talk, several people told me they would pay me to give them the same advice I was handing out for free - and that I should take the money. I'm not an editor or an agent or a publisher; I've only self-published one measely short story and started a serial novel. I...

A few days ago while writing and not procrastinating at all , my lovely little apartment with the desk overlooking downtown Honolulu suddenly felt like a very small shoebox. This claustrophobia was somewhat alleviated by a small jaunt out to the Moana Surfrider Hotel in Waikiki to join a writer's "gathering" where I learned that writing is hard and authorship is apparently harder. Or not. I mean, I did go to a gathering and I did listen as writers talked about how hard it was to cross the "million mile chasm to authorhood," but I didn't feel like I learned anything (and I may have, in fact, been procrastinating). I already knew that I had to work on my digital "platform," and I already knew that not everyone in that room would "make it." I already knew all about the victim mindset common among some writers (particularly new ones). The trouble, of course, is the idea that being a writer is  so hard . Personally, I don't relate w...