Late Night, No Lights

I'm sitting here in my bed, husband asleep next to me as I contemplate my relationship with my gallbladder. We've had a good run, but it ends tomorrow.

When I had my wisdom teeth out, I went crazy beforehand, looking up the possible complications and trying to soothe my worries with knowledge. When your imagination is getting the better of you - even while writing - it seems as though research is key. Research, research, research.

So, I watched a youtube video of a gallbladder surgery yesterday. It really helped with my anxiety. I've also read who knows how many personal accounts of gallbladder removal experiences on reddit. My brain is packed full of knowledge, but I'm still awake.

There is an unknown, here, and no amount of research can help that. There are a lot of 'what ifs' with this surgery, but you know what? I haven't read about anyone dying yet. So there's that. Also, I've read that general anesthesia these days is pretty damned remarkable. Something like flipping a switch: one minute you're awake, counting backwards from ten, and the next you're...awake, wondering how you got into the recovery room and when you started drooling, the last thing you remember being a big fat 7.

I'm hoping tonight can be that way, when I finally give in and try to sleep.

10..9...8....7.......

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