Self-School Final Evaluation or Facing Failure
A big fat failing 'F'.
And it's OK.
I've learned a lot through my little experiment, but the most important thing was to keep my goals simple. Which I didn't.
After Thanksgiving break, and my mid-term grade, things at the Self School crumbled a bit, then crumbled a bit more. I took out certain "classes," and tried to add others. I restructured the writing to try to accommodate short stories and novel writing, but that didn't work out. It was all too complicated to develop good writing habits.
For me, life can't be a diet. What I mean by that is diets are temporary. My syllabus was temporary. There was a limit, a deadline, an end. Because of that, it was easy to tell myself, "Ohp! You screwed it up and now you'll never finish. Might as well eat a box of twinkies!"*
*metaphorically speaking
Instead, I realized I should have been looking at writing less as an assignment and more like a lifestyle. Not something to only do on special days, but something to do every day. Since looking at writing more as a daily goal, I've pumped out something to the tune of 13,000 words. In two weeks.
Reading is the same. I tried to limit my daily reading count, but all it did was make me impatient and sap enjoyment from the books. It also limited my reading capacity pretty damned significantly. Since I've been done with my syllabus, I've read four books. Compared to the same number through the entirety of my syllabus.
I still want to do critiques online, and read how-to books to keep honing my craft, but I think for me it needs to be less intensely structured. It needs to be habit, not chore. Something I want to do every day, not an obligation.
So, I've failed at my syllabus and that's OK, because I've succeeded at my main goal. I've become a better writer.
And it's OK.
I've learned a lot through my little experiment, but the most important thing was to keep my goals simple. Which I didn't.
After Thanksgiving break, and my mid-term grade, things at the Self School crumbled a bit, then crumbled a bit more. I took out certain "classes," and tried to add others. I restructured the writing to try to accommodate short stories and novel writing, but that didn't work out. It was all too complicated to develop good writing habits.
For me, life can't be a diet. What I mean by that is diets are temporary. My syllabus was temporary. There was a limit, a deadline, an end. Because of that, it was easy to tell myself, "Ohp! You screwed it up and now you'll never finish. Might as well eat a box of twinkies!"*
*metaphorically speaking
Instead, I realized I should have been looking at writing less as an assignment and more like a lifestyle. Not something to only do on special days, but something to do every day. Since looking at writing more as a daily goal, I've pumped out something to the tune of 13,000 words. In two weeks.
Reading is the same. I tried to limit my daily reading count, but all it did was make me impatient and sap enjoyment from the books. It also limited my reading capacity pretty damned significantly. Since I've been done with my syllabus, I've read four books. Compared to the same number through the entirety of my syllabus.
I still want to do critiques online, and read how-to books to keep honing my craft, but I think for me it needs to be less intensely structured. It needs to be habit, not chore. Something I want to do every day, not an obligation.
So, I've failed at my syllabus and that's OK, because I've succeeded at my main goal. I've become a better writer.
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