Writer Is as Writer Does

     "So, what do you do?"
     I hesitate. What do I do? I doubt she cares about my hours clacking away at stories on my keyboard. Then again, I can't tell her I sit at home reading fantasy, and alternate windows of Facebook and Reddit. That would sound lazy.
     I don't have children. My manuscripts, while I love them, do not require feeding, changing, feeding, coddling, or feeding. I don't think I can relate to this stay-at-home mom. I take a deep breath. "I write, mostly."
     "Oh, that's nice. What do you write?"
     Mostly unfinished drafts and nothing published. "Oh, fiction mostly. Fantasy, sci-fi - that sort of thing."
     "Oh, OK." Her blank stare is doing its best to be courteous, but I know she wants to talk childcare and Mom-groups with the woman to her left, and that's OK.
     "Yeah, nothing interesting. So what do you do?"

In my head, I call myself a writer. It's something I do and it's what I am. My fascination with the written word defines the ways I consume media and communicate with others, but I struggle with claiming the moniker out loud. No, I don't have anything published. I have yet to make a single cent off of my writing, but I call myself a writer anyway. What I don't do is ask anyone else to call me a writer.

I think this is something a lot of beginning word smiths struggle with. There is a certain disdain in our culture for the person who claims to be writing a novel, or claims to be a writer, but who hasn't actually published anything. This lends some shame to telling anyone you're a writer. Nobody wants to be the pretentious hipster - that wannabe. We want to be published, but we aren't allowed to tell anyone until we're paid. What kind of atmosphere does it create when people who are writers - honest to goodness writers-who-write - are afraid to tell anyone?

Maybe I'm just projecting my individual experiences, here. I'm sure there are a lot of people out there who haven't dealt with this subconscious stigma at all. 

If you're out there, and you're reading this post, can you comment and tell us whether this is something you've experienced? How you felt about it? I'm curious to know how common it really is.

Comments

  1. Sara RoseOctober 26, 2013 at 10:13 AM

    Oh yes, I've experienced it. It's awful, isn't it? That blank stare and awkward silence after you tell them what you write is only slightly better than the question, "So what's your book about?" In the security of my home on the computer with other like-minded individuals, I feel proud of what I've accomplished so far and how I've grown. Outside in the world, I'm ashamed. I've since stopped telling people I'm a writer to avoid that situation and instead just tell them I'm a homemaker.

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